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Asexual in love pt. 2: what is love and how do I even?

This is a followon from ‘Asexual in love pt 1’, and marks part two of my exploration of love without sex. There will be more parts. At this point I’m honestly not sure how many. Let’s see where this ride takes us.

 

Love is one of those sneaky, slippery concepts. Most people would tell you they know what it is, but ask someone to define it and things get a lot more complicated.

Case in point: I would have said I have a pretty good handle on what love is – after all, I’ve been in love with the same person for twelve years. And yet in my world, love and sex have nothing to do with each other. It’s still maddeningly strange to me to realise that some people think them inseparable.

What does it even mean to love, or to be in love? How can we be so confused about this?

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Writing updates: Mother of Invention available to the public & The Miller’s Daughter in audio form!

I’m having a long and nail-biting wait on a few different writing-related fronts at the moment, but at last one of them has borne fruit: this morning I woke up to the winners’ announcements for the 2018 Remastered Words Audio Anthology – and the thrilling news that The Miller’s Daughter has come second!

What does that mean? Only that my story’s going to become part of a professionally narrated audiobook!

This is super cool news, and I can’t wait to see (well, hear) how it turns out. The first step is for it to go off to the editor, so the version that gets recorded may differ a bit from the one on the website (which already differs greatly from the version that won the ASFF Amateur Writer’s Award – such is the evolution of a tale). I’ll let you know when the 2018 audio anthology comes out.

Meanwhile, I’m pleased to announce that Mother of Invention is now for sale to the general public in paperback and ebook forms. If you missed out before, this is your chance to get your eyeballs on it and find out why the final line of my story ‘Arguing With People on the Internet’ made Lauren E. Mitchell squeal with evil delight (I got to watch them read it live in my living room, and it was an absolute treat).

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Asexual in love pt. 1: what does it mean for a relationship when you don’t want sex?

Recently, I’ve found myself in conversations with two different friends – one old, one new – both of whom had been identifying as demisexual and both of whom were coming around to the idea that they might actually be at the far end of the asexual spectrum, like me.

That in and of itself wasn’t a big surprise – exploring your sexuality can be a lifelong process, and it’s never too late to grow in your understanding of what your body wants or doesn’t want. What shocked me in both cases was the reason they had been holding on to the label of demisexual long after beginning to suspect it didn’t fit them: they thought being asexual would mean the end of any hope for love.

Continue reading “Asexual in love pt. 1: what does it mean for a relationship when you don’t want sex?”

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